Pregnancy

How to get past a traumatic birth so you can have another baby

For some moms giving birth is a happy experience mixed with a little anxiety. For others, it can prove to be incredibly traumatic, especially if things don’t go to plan.

However, if you want another baby but are held back by previous experience, it is possible to work through this and try for another pregnancy.

Here are a few tips on how!

3 tips on how to work through the post-birth trauma

It is estimated that around a third of women feel their birth experience was traumatic and of these group of women, up to 9% are diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

For others, there maybe exists a sense of guilt, blame or resentment surrounding the traumatic birth. It’s understandable then, the thought of having another baby causes these women anxiety and distress, putting some off even trying for another baby.

1. Talk to your partner or counsellor

Communicating your feelings about your previous birthing experience is a good place to start. If your partner was present during the birth chances are, your partner may also be traumatized.

Talking about it does a couple of things to help you resolve your anxiety:

  1. It gives you another point of view and you may discover aspects of the birth you may not have realized or were, quite frankly, in too much pain to take notice of. This may give you some closure if guilt or blame is some of what you’re feeling.
  2. It provides you both with an opportunity to debrief, which can be confronting. If you find this too hard to face or you can’t do this with your partner, contact a counsellor or approach a nurse at your hospital. Go over your birth notes, talking about any interventions and procedures used. Debriefing will leave you with a clearer understanding of what happened and why giving you the opportunity to speak about your experience without judgement.
  3. Talking to someone you trust will give you the relief and validation of having your feelings acknowledged. This encourages you to acknowledge your trauma, release negative feelings associated with it and move forward so you can see that all birthing experiences are unique and not necessarily traumatic.

2. Understand the birthing process

Newborn after birth

Really familiarizing and educating yourself with the birthing process can also aid in reducing your anxiety for your next birth. Talk to the hospital you choose to give birth at and ask them what options you have if a crisis unfolds.

By knowing what outcomes are possible, you may feel empowered and more informed when making the best choice for you and your baby during labor. This may also give you confidence knowing you will be well looked after if something does go wrong.

3. Regular counseling

Seeking consistent counseling during the course of your pregnancy may also assist in the realization that all births are different.

By engaging the regular services of a counsellor, you can work through anxieties associated with birth, especially during the last stages of your pregnancy. By talking about your past fears, the hope is that you can then be present and take one day at a time.

By learning to be present and learning to cope with problems as they arise, will help you deal with the unknowns of labour. As always, having a positive support network around you will always help.

If PSTD is something you are struggling with, it’s time to get the help you need. Speak with your doctor as a first step.

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