There is no question that parenthood takes a toll on our relationships with friends. Throw into the mix having to move house due to a growing family, financial constraints (kids are expensive!) and change in lifestyle, you suddenly find yourself feeling lonely and without the same social connections you used to have before kids.
What may feel like a personal issue is actually a universal problem for many moms. You can change this feeling of isolation, in fact, it’s the best thing you could do for your mental and physical health.
Here are a few tips on how!
3 tips on how to stop feeling isolated
1. Out with the old, in with the new
It may sound harsh but the fact is if your connection was superficial, having kids will ensure it’s near impossible to maintain any sort of friendship with old friends. Social relationships are based on similarities between two people and while it may feel like you are being left behind, you’re just travelling in a different direction to your old friends.
If they made your life better, made the effort to maintain a friendship with you and still bring a smile to your face, then these are the friends to keep in contact with and to make an effort for. If not, it may be time to branch out and make some new connections.
2. Moms are an untapped source
You may not feel it right now but moms can be lots of fun and are extremely resourceful! And they ‘get it’- the issues you face day to day having a family.
Try to join a local mother’s group or check community notices boards or Facebook groups that have weekly meetups.
3. You are in control
Instead of waiting for people to come into your life so you can befriend them, try to advertise your own mother and baby meet-up. Pick a park or local cafe and print a flyer with your number for other moms to call you.
You may get lots, a little or no contact at all but if you put yourself out there, it’s more likely you’ll be able to make social connections than if you stay at home and continue feeling lonely.
If you feel your loneliness is turning into something more like depression, talk to your partner about your mental health. You can also see your GP for more immediate help.
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